Nathan's Dilemma
by Sawyer's Peace
Summary: Lucas sneaks off the seaQuest for some shore leave without permission. He takes the Stinger and Bridger's motorcycle to spend time with Biff Pickering. Exploring more of the father/son relationship between them. Please read the prologue carefully as this might not be a story for you.
1. The Confrontation

**Note from Sawyer:**

 **I'm a firefighter. It's an amazing career, but it's not always a good one when you're a husband and a father. I'm sitting here in my office at home today feeling ready to implode. I'm tired. It was a rough night. We responded to a very severe house fire, and it was brutal getting out some children. Praise God we did rescue them, and I think they will survive. It was a senseless fire that could have been prevented. People make mistakes. I get that. But mistakes can cost lives…even the lives of your children. A little too much alcohol mixed with smoking can be a disaster. For this family, it could have cost them the lives of their three precious children. Anyways, I'm not writing this story about that. This story is about my son.**

 **My wife called me earlier to say my 13 year old son snuck out of the house with some friends. We have a newborn. My wife is tired too. It's not an excuse. It's reality. I have been on a four day shift at the fire station. Did I mention I am tired? I found my son and he's waiting in his room for me to talk with him about his little misconduct. I've been sitting here in my office for four hours trying to think and pray. Trying to figure out what a good father should say and do. My son is a good lad, a smart kid and a nice kid. I like him. I mean we all love our kids, but I really like my son too. He's a really good kid. But he seriously messed up and did something very dangerous. I probably should get some sleep before I speak with him. I still smell smoke on my hair. I probably should take a shower too. But I feel numb. One of my son's friends is in the hospital tonight because of their reckless escapades. THAT could have been my son. Scares me to death. I'm not feeling like a good dad right now.**

 **Writing is my therapy so I just spent the last several hours writing a SeaQuest story and Lucas' became my son's scapegoat. I won't make any apologies for that. I probably shouldn't share this story with anyone because I'm positive society in general will think I'm some strange abusive monster. I'm not. I'm just a dad who is human, trying to figure out how to explain to a young boy how recklessness can steal your life from you. I'd like to offer some similar choices to my son as Bridger did in this story, but I won't, at least not the same ones as Bridger. This story allowed me to cry…think…pray. I know in my heart the type of man I want my son to be. I know he isn't perfect. I know I'm not perfect. I nearly had a child die in my arms tonight. Then to receive a call that my son was involved in a reckless accident that could have taken his life…it sucked the air out of my lungs. I love my son.**

 **Anyways read this story with a grain of salt. Don't judge me and think I'm some kind of creep. I'm not.**

 **I'm just a dad. A tired dad, trying to figure out this challenging thing called parenting.**

 **Wish me luck as I have a man to man, heart to heart, dad to son talk with my son.**

 **All the best,**

 **Sawyer.**

Part 1

Captain Nathan Bridger stirred as he heard his vid-link ringing far in the distance pulling him from the border of slumber. His eyes fluttered and he groaned as he raised his head up onto his elbow. He blinked a few times in the darkness as he checked the time on his phone. _Good grief, who would be calling at this time of morning,_ thought Nathan. He rubbed his face as he reached for the communication device sitting on the side table. Nathan tapped the link and was surprised to see the face of a police officer staring back at him. Nathan furrowed his brow in concern wondering why he was being contacted. He moaned to himself thinking that one of his crew had gotten into some trouble while on shore leave, but he couldn't think of anyone in his foggy consciousness that was currently on leave.

"May I help you, officer?"

"Good Morning, sir," It _**had been**_ _a good morning,_ grumbled Nathan to himself. "Do you know a Lucas," The officer glanced at the licence in his hand, stumbling over the last name. "Woolenzack?" Nathan would have cringed at the pronunciation had he not been so shocked to be asked. _What is Lucas doing off SeaQuest,_ thought Nathan, feeling confused.

"Yes, officer, I do. My name is Captain Nathan Bridger, and he's my ward on the UEO vessel SeaQuest." Nathan sat up more, flicking on the light above his head. Suddenly he felt wide awake.

"I just pulled him over for the reckless operation of a sub-surface vehicle, sir."

Nathan couldn't keep the shock from his face. "Is he alright?"

The officer waved his hand and offered a smile. "He's fine, sir." The camera panned towards Lucas, and Nathan was relieved to see that the boy appeared safe and sound, just looking very awkward. Lucas' mouth opened and closed a few times when he saw the captain's stunned face.

"I'm fine, Captain," said Lucas; his face looked pale.

The camera panned back to the officer. "I need to ask your permission to do a breathalyzer, Captain Bridger. He smells of alcohol. If he blows over, you will need to pick him up at the station. His licence says he's 14, is that correct?"

"Yes, that's correct. He has that licence as a favour to the UEO because of the nature of the testing we do on SeaQuest."

The officer nodded. "I see. Well, as long as he doesn't blow over, he should be able to keep it. However, drinking while underage will need to be addressed, Captain."

Nathan sighed. "I understand. You have my permission to do the test. I can wait on the link while you access him." The officer nodded and set the link down. Nathan could hear the officer giving Lucas instructions to do the test and Lucas respectfully complying. Nathan's heart was racing as he waited. He didn't know what to think at this point. He was completely caught off guard by Lucas being off SeaQuest. He felt immediately smacked with guilt. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd even seen Lucas in the past week. He searched his head for the last time and groaned as the familiar memories flooded his mind. It had been several days ago when they had argued about Biff Pickering coming for a visit to SeaQuest. Nathan had been so busy with business on the bridge that day that he had brushed the kid aside gruffly. Lucas had stormed off the bridge in a huff, and Nathan had completely forgotten about the incident until now.

"He's good to go, Captain," said the Officer, pulling Nathan out of his reverie. "He's definitely been drinking but he's not intoxicated. I'll send the paperwork with him for you to sign."

"Very good, thanks, officer. Sorry to inconvenience you this morning. May I speak with Lucas for a moment?"

"Certainly." The camera panned to Lucas once again who was looking more than a little disconcerted.

"I would like you to report to my quarters as soon as you dock, Mr. Wolenczak." Nathan's voice had a no nonsense tone to it, wrapped in a good dose of don't-mess-with-me-kid-because-your-butt-is-toast. Nathan was fairly sure Lucas knew his goose was cooked.

Lucas' eyes widened in dismay as he slowly licked his lips. "Y-yes, sir," he said.

Nathan gave him a piercing look that shot right through the boy. Lucas shifted uncomfortably where he was standing as he reached out and ended the connection.

Nathan sat staring at the empty communication device, his temper simmering close to a boil. He wasn't sure how long it was going to take Lucas to arrive back at SeaQuest, but he hoped it would be long enough to calm down. Nathan was angry. What would possess the kid to leave the SeaQuest without permission? Where the heck would he have gone? Nathan stood and began pacing as his mind raced. The longer he stewed, the angrier he became. He didn't even bother trying to calm himself down. He wanted to make sure Lucas knew he was furious with him. The kid had been pressing his luck lately on many occasions. Lucas was brilliant and an asset to SeaQuest, but he wasn't indispensable. His cocky, holier-than-thou attitude was not welcome in Nathan's books, and it was going to need to be addressed. It certainly wouldn't hurt the teenager to be knocked down a few pegs. Nathan continued to pace and grumble under his breath for an undeterminable amount of time until he heard a timid knock at the door. He huffed out a groan and opened the door. Lucas' eyes were as large as saucers as he stood in the door way staring back at him. Nathan could smell the beer radiating from the teen and understood why the officer felt the need to test him. Nathan ushered the boy inside the room, motioning him to sit down. Lucas came inside but instead of sitting, he walked to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Nathan shut the hatch door firmly, forcing himself to take a deep breath. Part of him was ready to tear a strip out of Lucas, and he had to rein in that impulse with all his might. Nathan turned to look at Lucas and the look on the kid's face made his jaw drop. Lucas had the nerve to look annoyed with Nathan.

Nathan gritted his teeth as he spoke. "Where the hell were you?"

"Not that it's any of your damned business, but I went to see Biff Pickering and hang out for the day!" Lucas' voice had an edge to it that Nathan hadn't heard before.

"Knock off the attitude, Mister. Who gave you permission to leave SeaQuest?"

"I did. You're not my boss!" There was a dare in his voice that Nathan could not miss.

"How did you get there?" Nathan knew that Lucas had taken the Stinger. It was the only means of transportation the kid would use as a Launch would be missed much quicker.

Nathan heard something whizz through the air and land on the floor at his feet. He looked down to see two sets of keys. One set belonging to the Stinger and the other—Nathan looked at Lucas incredulously—the other was his own personal set of keys belonging to his motorcycle. Nathan had a hard time keeping the astonishment from his face. Nathan leaned over and picked them up, holding them out in disbelief.

"You took my keys?" Lucas glared at him but remained silent. "You took the keys to _my_ bike?"

"So what?"

Nathan marched across the room and shook a finger in Lucas' face.

"You're 14 years old, Lucas! Have you forgotten that?"

Lucas' face turned red in belligerence. "How can I forget? You remind every two minutes!" Nathan felt his temper reach the boiling point. If Lucas didn't get out of his sight, he was going to lambaste the kid which wouldn't be sensible on any level. Nathan realized he needed some time to cool down before he discussed things any further.

"You need to go to your room right now!" snapped Nathan, grabbing Lucas roughly by the arm and directing him to the hatch door.

In that instant, Nathan saw the colour drain from Lucas' face as he came to the realisation that he had pushed the envelope too far. The boy looked at Nathan in trepidation, and if Nathan hadn't been so angry, he might have realised that he was intimidating the kid.

"W-wait, Captain; I-I'm sorry."

Nathan felt on the verge of completely losing his grip so he didn't allow Lucas' timid words to penetrate his defenses. Instead he opened his door and gave the youth a sharp shove out the door.

"I don't want to hear it, Lucas. Go to your quarters and don't you dare step a foot out of it until I come and speak with you! Got it?" Nathan's voice was much louder and more severe than he intended. Lucas sucked in his lip and nodded silently. Nathan could see tears brimming in his eyes, threatening to fall. He hardened his heart against it, turned on his heel and shut the hatch door in the teenager's face. To say that Nathan was angry was a gross understatement.


	2. Nathan's Dilemma

Nathan tossed the crook of his elbow over his eyes as he laid on the sofa in his quarters on SeaQuest. He had a one whopper of a headache. His head had been pounding for hours, but he was determined to tough it out. Maybe the pain would help him focus, and, at the very least, he deserved some pain for his negligence. Besides, he had a lot of thinking to do, and it was an excuse to stay in his quarters and have some time to himself. He'd informed the bridge that he was unwell and wouldn't be in attendance at any meetings today. He felt confident that Commander Jonathan Ford would be able to handle anything that crossed their paths that day. Right now, Nathan needed some space to think. He was grateful his anger had dissipated. He couldn't think straight when he felt that enraged. And if he allowed his temper to get the best of him, he would react poorly and regret his actions later. Laying in the darkness, trying to keep his breathing even was an improvement on earlier that morning when he'd swiped all the contents from his desk and tossed a glass across the room. He was thankful there was no one in the room or outside his room to hear the irate shout that went with the episode of angry frustration. There was no denying the fact that Nathan was beyond exasperated. A soft knock at the door caused him to groan in further annoyance. He didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. He wasn't fit for a rational conversation when he felt this irritated. _Just ignore it,_ thought Nathan, _and maybe whoever it is will go away._ The knock persisted and became more insistent as he tried to ignore it causing Nathan to sigh out loud.

"Can't you tell I'm trying to ignore you and hoping you'll go away?" he said loudly.

Nathan heard the door creak open, and he cursed himself for not remembering to tighten the hatch door. The last thing he wanted right now was a dialogue with anyone. He just wasn't fit for company of any kind.

"Nathan?"

Nathan's heart melted somewhat when he heard Dr. Kristin Westphalen's soft British voice. It didn't surprise him that it was her that had come looking for him, and he imagined someone on the bridge had mentioned to her that he was feeling under the weather.

"Nathan, where are you?" she persisted.

"I'm here, Kristin," he said with another sigh, "but if I were you, I would run for my life because this captain is in no mood for conversation."

Nathan pulled back his arm to see the beautiful face of the attractive red-headed doctor peering over the edge of the sofa at him. She gave him a warm smile and a look of worry.

"Jonathan told me that you weren't feeling well, Nathan. What's the matter?" Her voice was filled with concern. Nathan managed a weak smile in return. He really didn't have the energy to withstand Kristin's anxiety over his health. She would never believe that nothing was bothering him, and he just didn't have the stamina to discuss things yet. He still needed more time to contemplate things for himself. Nathan groaned and forced himself to sit up.

"Nothing serious, Doctor. Just a headache. To be perfectly honest, I needed the time to myself to think. The headache is my ruse for that time."

Kristin walked around the sofa with a frown and sat across from him. She seemed to give him an intense once over, and Nathan could tell she was scrutinising his words to see for herself if he was being truthful.

"Where does it hurt?"

Nathan rolled his eyes at her as he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just a headache, Kristin."

"Stop hedging, Nathan and let me be the judge of that."

Nathan sighed. "It hurts at the back of my head and across my forehead."

"Tenderness on your scalp, neck and shoulders?"

Nathan nodded as he reached up and massaged his shoulder as emphasis.

"Have you taken anything?" asked Kristin, looking intently at him. The intensity was starting to make him squirm. Kristin had a way of making him nervous when she diagnosed complaints, especially when it was something that they had discussed before. She had little tolerance for the disregard of her medical advice. She was extremely professional and put up with none of his stoic shenanigans.

"No…"began Nathan.

"Why not?" Her tone was sharp. "Nathan, we've had this conversation before. This is a classic case of a tension headache. For goodness sakes, you don't need to suffer with it to prove you're a tough guy. Take some medication to help alleviate the pain.

"It's just a headache, Kristin. Why the Spanish inquisition?" snapped Nathan, rising to his feet. He felt his temper flare again. He strode across the room and crossed his arms. He heard her walk across the room behind him and then felt her soft touch as she began to massage his tense shoulders gently. _Oh goodness, that feels good,_ thought Nathan, as he moved his neck back and forth and relaxed his shoulders.

"Go sit down at your desk," Kristin ordered, dropping her hands.

Nathan turned and looked at her. Her face looked resolute. He dropped his own arms to his side and obediently went to sit in his chair. Without a word, Kristin walked up behind him and began to massage his neck, back and shoulders. Nathan felt his shoulders relax more and the tension began to diminish somewhat. Several minutes went by while her strong hands worked out some knots and Nathan found himself relaxing more.

"How does that feel?"

"Like I should pay you in gold coins."

Kristin laughed. Her laugh sounded so melodic to Nathan's ears. Nathan could not get enough of hearing it. Kristin was a true delight to be around. Several more minutes went by as Nathan just sat quietly enjoying the massage. He could feel the pain disappearing as well. Too bad it couldn't take away the rest of his troubles.

"Well, Captain, as the CMO of SeaQuest, I'm quite well trained in massage therapy as well as therapeutic counselling. Since this is the third tension headache you've had in as many days, I suggest you tell me what's bothering you so much."

Nathan felt his muscles tense up again as Kristin's question stirred up his anger once again.

"And before you tell me nothing," warned Kristin, "I'm not against ordering you to take some impromptu stress leave." Nathan turned to look at her gruffly, but she continued massaging with a small satisfied smirk on her face.

"You're incorrigible, Kristin Westphalen." Nathan saw her stifle a laugh with one hand from the corner of his eye. He relaxed his shoulders again mostly because the massage felt so amazing that it was next to impossible to stay tense.

"Nathan, tell me what's bothering you. Doctor/patient confidentiality covers anything you might tell me that's classified and you know that." Her voice sounded so inviting to Nathan. Her sweet, caring persistence was breaking through his resolve.

Nathan spun around in his chair as she dropped her hands to her sides. She gave him a warm smile as she looked at him with concern in her eyes.

"One look around your quarters tells me you are or were very upset. I've never seen your desk in such disarray, and I couldn't help but notice the broken glass on the floor when I came in…perhaps from you throwing it?" Kristin tilted her head slightly in only the way she could, looking so cute that Nathan couldn't help but pull her into his arms for a warm embrace. She melted into his arms and fit so neatly. He rested his chin on her head and was quiet for several minutes again before pulling away.

"Something is really troubling you, Nathan. Please tell me what it is. I'm worried."

Nathan scrubbed a hand across his face as he walked away from her towards the door. He grabbed a broom from his side closet and began to sweep up the glass. Kristin crossed the room as well and stood gaping at him with one hand resting across her waist.

"It's Lucas."

"What about Lucas? Is he okay? Is he sick? Should I go take a look at him?" Nathan stopped sweeping and held up one hand to stop her from panicking over the boy.

"He's fine, for now," said Nathan.

"What do you mean for now?"

"I mean he might not be fine when I'm done with him."

Nathan continued sweeping the glass while he let Kristin mull over his words. He wasn't sure he even wanted to tell Kristin what was wrong. If she was anything like Carol, she would just make excuses for the teenager and, right now, he didn't want to hear any justifications.

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Lucas all day or even yesterday for that matter."

"He's been in his quarters today, and yesterday he took it into his own hands to take a shore leave."

"Shore leave?"

Nathan nodded as he grabbed the dust pan and swept up the glass, depositing it into the garbage can. He put the broom away and crossed the room to sit down once again. He felt his temper rising again. He wasn't sure he was even going to be able to discuss things with Kristin when he couldn't even keep himself from getting angry thinking about it.

"Yes, shore leave. Apparently Lucas thought it would be okay to leave SeaQuest without permission."

Kristin followed him and sat down on the chair across from him.

"That doesn't sound like Lucas. Where did he go?"

Nathan clenched his fists feeling his temper boil again. Once again his tension headache flared up and he reached up, rubbing his head again. Kristin reached into her pocket and pulled out some tablets. She reached for his hand and pushed the pills into his palm.

"Stop being a hero and take them, Nathan. They'll help." Kristin rose to her feet again and grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, offering it to Nathan to take the medication. Nathan took the water and swallowed the pills with a groan.

"He met up with Biff Pickering for a fun-filled day of sun and surf mixed with some bikini- clad girls and some alcoholic refreshments. And to top it all off, he took the Stinger and then borrowed my motorcycle for his own personal transportation." As Nathan said the words out loud, his voice became louder until he was almost shouting.

Kristin sat down again, putting a hand over her mouth. "Oh, Nathan, I had no idea."

"Neither did I until I received a little vid-link call from the police bright and early this morning. Lucas was pulled over for careless driving of a sub-surface vehicle. The officer said he smelled of alcohol, but he wasn't drunk."

"He was gone all night?" Kristin's face looked shocked. "What did he have to say for himself?"

"Not much but, in his defense, I didn't give him much time to explain. The facts were enough to make my blood boil, so I sent him to his quarters until I could calm down."

"For his own safety, I'm sure." Nathan grimaced at Kristin's words. She was astute. Nathan had been angry enough to strike out at the boy, and he wasn't proud of that.

"Oh, Nathan, I'm so sorry. No wonder you're so upset." Nathan could see the sympathy in her eyes. He scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned again.

"I'm more upset at myself to be honest," mumbled Nathan through his hands before dropping them to his lap again. He looked at Kristin who raised a brow in confusion. "We had an argument the other day about him spending some time with Biff, but I was so distracted I didn't make the time to explain myself well. He lost his temper with me, and I reprimanded him pretty sharply. He stalked off in a huff. I meant to speak with him later but forgot. I didn't even think much about it until last night, and by then it was too late to speak with him." Nathan sighed again. "I didn't even know he was missing for an entire day, Kristin. I'm no better than his idiot father. I completely neglected him."

"Nathan Bridger!" scolded Kristin, a surprised look on her face. "You're nothing like Lucas' father. That man is insufferable! You're not neglectful. For heaven sakes, you're the captain of a huge UEO vessel with vast responsibilities, and Lucas isn't a baby. He's 14 years old, and he doesn't need constant supervision, or at least he shouldn't."

"The key word being shouldn't," scoffed Nathan, sinking back into the sofa.

Kristin nodded. "I agree. Furthermore, you aren't the only one who didn't notice he was missing. I haven't seen him since Tuesday, but I never gave it much thought. The boy is always hanging around somewhere, and he's usually very trustworthy."

"Usually he is, I agree."

"What did you argue about in the first place?"

"He wanted to invite Biff to hang out on the SeaQuest for a few days and I said no."

"Well, he should have respected your answer. I'm sure you had a perfectly good reason why you didn't want his friend on board."

Nathan's face reddened. "Not really. Unless you count the fact that I can't stand the kid."

Kristin chewed her lip incredulously. "Nathan, do you have a valid reason not to like him?"

"He's a belligerent, disrespectful kid, and I don't like the influence he has over Lucas. I would bet my hat that he's the reason Lucas took off in the first place."

"Nathan, Lucas has his own mind. You of all people should know that. I'm not sure anyone could convince Lucas to do something he didn't want to do."

Nathan pressed his lips together. "I know which just makes the whole situation that much worse in my mind. If he had the propensity to succumb to peer pressure, I might be more apt to be lenient."

Kristin stood up and walked towards the mini kitchenette, plugging in the kettle. Nathan bit back a smile. He knew Kristin was just as upset as he now. She was going for her comfort food; well, tea wasn't food, but it was Kristin's means of comforting herself. He watched as she searched the cupboard above for her favourite herbal tea. Nathan made sure Ben procured a large stock of it. She placed a tea bag into a mug and turned to face him circumspectly.

"He really took your motorcycle?"

"Yah, he did," sighed Nathan. He could see the look of dismay on her face. He imagined her thoughts were travelling the same roads his had earlier.

"He's only 14. He isn't even old enough to have an operator's licence."

Nathan groaned. "Don't remind me." He was already furious enough at the boy's recklessness. He didn't even know where to start when it came to listing all Lucas' misdemeanors. But he still couldn't help feeling like it was his fault. If he had only taken the time to listen and explain, Lucas might have made a different decision.

"So, what are you going to do, Nathan?"

Nathan wrung his hands. "Before or after I kick his butt?" Nathan saw Kristin grimace at his words. "I'm so angry with him, Kristin, and I'm disappointed. But I'm also angry with myself. I should've taken the time to really talk with him. I can't help feeling that it's my fault. If I'd explained to him what I was thinking, we could've worked this out, and maybe he wouldn't have gone and done something so stupid."

Kristin poured her tea. "Would you like a cup?"

Nathan grimaced at the offer. Tea was not his favourite beverage. "No, thanks, but I wouldn't mind a stiff drink about now."

Kristin smiled compassionately. She walked back over to the chair and sat down, reflectively holding her mug in both hands. After taking a few sips, she spoke quietly.

"Nathan, he's a teenager. He's going to make mistakes. It's just part of life. And believe it or not, you're human and you make mistakes too." Kristin's words hit Nathan a little too close to home. He rose to his feet in exasperation. Kristin looked at him in surprise. "Nathan, you expect too much of yourself. You may have not have explained yourself as well as you should have, but Lucas is old enough to understand that you get distracted with your duties on SeaQuest."

Nathan began to pace the room as he pondered Kristin's words, continuing to wring his hands.

"I told myself that I wouldn't make the same mistakes with Lucas that I did with Robert."

Kristin's brow rose. "Oh, Nathan, is that what's bothering you?" Kristin rose to her feet and walked to stand beside Nathan. She looked into his face sincerely. "Lucas isn't Robert. And Lucas lives on SeaQuest with you. Lucas sees all that you have on your plate and nine times out of ten, he's right beside you when you're hard at work. The boy worships the ground you walk on, Nathan." She reached out a warm hand to touch his cheek. "You spend plenty of time with Lucas. You eat meals with him, you swim with him, you work and play games with him; the list is simply endless. You really need to forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you feel you made with Robert. Ben has told you repeatedly how wonderful Robert thought you were. Robert said you were a fantastic father. And you're an excellent surrogate father to Lucas."

Nathan heaved a sigh as he looked at Kristin's compassionate eyes. He felt tears burn in his own eyes as he thought about his son who'd passed away several years ago in the line of duty. Nathan missed Robert. He had so many regrets as a parent, and he'd promised himself that he wouldn't make the same ones with Lucas. Fate had given him a second chance to be a father, and he didn't want to screw it up. He swore that he would make the time and listen to Lucas. His guilt was beating him up inside, not to mention distracting him from being proactive. He needed to work past it so he could speak with Lucas wisely. Again, for the second time since Kristin entered his room, he pulled her into a tight embrace. What would he do without her words of wisdom and wise counsel? She was a Godsend.

"What would I do without you?" he said, breathing in her alluring scent.

"Well, let's hope you never need to find out."

Her voice was teasing and caused Nathan to laugh. It felt good to laugh, and it felt good to hold Kristin. Forcing himself to pull away, he glanced at her lovingly. She was so beautiful that it took his breath away. Sometimes he felt like he took her too much for granted.

"Thanks, Kristin."

Kristin smiled and kissed his cheek. "You're a stubborn man, Nathan Bridger, but most definitely a keeper." She patted his cheek again and took a few steps back, lost in her thoughts for a moment. "In all seriousness, Nathan, how do you plan to handle this with Lucas?"

Nathan raked a hand through his hair and shook his head wearily. He didn't know how he was going to handle things at all. When Lucas had come to his quarters earlier, he had been so furious with him. Lucas looked almost frightened of his reaction. Nathan hadn't meant to be so sharp and lose his temper like he did, but he'd been sideswiped by the whole situation. It would have never dawned on him in a million years that Lucas who ever do anything of the sort. He was just so disappointed in the teenager. He felt like Lucas should've known better. He was a bright kid but, then again, intelligence didn't always beget wise choices. Lucas proved that he still needed guidance and consequences for poor choices. And he had made some doozies.

"I just don't know, Kristin. If I'd gone with my gut this morning, I would have hauled the kid over my knee and spanked him. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to send him to his room while I calmed down."

Kristin's eyes widened. "Oh, for Goodness sakes, he's much too old for such a thing, not to mention how barbaric a punishment that is." Kristin looked disgruntled at the mere thought.

Nathan had to laugh at her response. "Kristin, a spanking isn't barbaric."

"Nathan, he's 14 years old, not five. And even if he was five, I still wouldn't condone such a punishment. It's abusive to hit a child, no matter what age they are."

Nathan's jaw dropped. "That's ridiculous. Didn't you ever spank Cynthia when she was a child?"

"Heavens, no!" Kristin looked appalled at the very suggestion. "Nathan Bridger, you don't need to be heavy-handed with children to teach them proper discipline. It's cruel and unusual punishment."

Nathan chuckled. "Alrighty, then. Note to self, don't discuss corporal punishment with the doctor." Kristin gave him an indignant look and before she could stop herself, she smacked his arm in irritation. "Ouch, doctor. Now I will be forever scarred, and my self-esteem will be low because you hit me." Nathan gave her a knowing look and saw her face flush ever so slightly.

"You know what I mean, Nathan."

Nathan smiled. "Yes, I understand what you're saying, but I don't agree. There is a time and a place for corporal punishment with children. Call me old-fashioned if you want, but I think it can serve a very useful purpose sometimes." Kristin opened her mouth to argue, but Nathan put a finger to her lips. "I'm not saying I'm going to use it on Lucas, so relax your momma bear instincts."

Kristin scowled at him and turned on her heel. Nathan reached out and grabbed her arm gently.

"Hey, come now, don't be like that. I need your help here. What do you think I should do? I want to make a strong impression on the kid. What he did was reckless and inexcusable. I don't want to have to revisit this in the future. Don't you think I need to send a very clear message?"

Kristin crossed her arms gruffly. "Yes, of course I do. I just think you can do a good enough job without hitting him."

Nathan groaned. "Spanking and hitting are too very different things, Kristin. Goodness, you're being so close-minded."

"Me? What about you?" Her voice was gaining volume.

"Yes, YOU, Kristin Westphalen." He poked her playfully on the nose. "You've made up your mind, and you aren't willing to listen to my views at all. I haven't even said I was going to spank Lucas and you're already up in arms about it." Nathan reached out to take her hands but she pulled away. "Kristin," he said in exasperation, "You're acting like I'm some kind of monster getting ready to murder the kid. For goodness sakes, calm down."

Kristin glared at him for several minutes and then she dropped her gaze to the floor with a sigh. Nathan couldn't figure out what she was thinking. She crossed an arm across her waist and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I know you wouldn't hurt Lucas."

Nathan reached out and touched a lock of her hair before lifting up her chin so her eyes could meet his. He was surprised to see tears filling her eyes.

He furrowed a brow in concern. "I understand your misgivings." Nathan wiped an escaped tear away from her cheek with his thumb. She had every right to question him on this, but the tears troubled him. He made a mental note to ask her more about it at a later date, but didn't feel like the opportune time at the moment. "However, I don't believe a few well-placed smacks on the butt are going to hurt him either. It might teach him a lesson in respect." Nathan looked at her pointedly, and she pulled her chin away with a groan.

Kristin put her hand up in acquiescence. "Ok, I'll defer to your better judgement. But, I want the record to show that as a doctor I strongly disapprove of said punishment should you so choose it."

"Duly noted, Doctor." Nathan saw tears shimmer in her eyes. "Kristin?" he prompted, still seeing the upset on her face. "Tell me what you're thinking."

She waved a hand. "It's nothing. I guess I'm just frustrated because I'm fighting an inner battle here." Nathan bit back a smirk. "I feel like I'm betraying Lucas by even considering allowing myself to agree with you."

Nathan hugged her again and laughed out loud. "Oh for Pity sakes, Kristin, you're not betraying him." He kissed her on the nose. "I promise you if I do decide to use a hands on incentive that he will survive relatively unscathed. Does that make you feel any better?" She reached out and poked him in the side playfully.

"Don't patronise me, Nathan Bridger."

Nathan laughed again and kissed this top of her head. "I love you, Kristin."

She leaned her head against his chest as she giggled softly and wiped away the remaining tears.

"Don't try to sweet talk me either, mister."

Nathan tugged at a lock of her hair and pulled away. He walked towards his desk and leaned on it thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm up for suggestions, Kris. I have no idea how to handle this with Lucas."

Kristin shrugged and clasped her hands together as she stared at him. She took a deep breath.

"I wish I knew. Kids should come with owner's manuals."

Nathan smirked. "Boy, no truer words have been spoken."

"Just promise me that you'll listen to him first before you make your decision on how to discipline him."

"So does this mean you're not going to help me decide what to do?"

Nathan made his face look pitiful. Truth be known, he was enjoying Kristin's company, and he was reluctant to have her leave. He felt like the conversation was coming to a close. As much as he hadn't wished to speak with anyone earlier, her company had helped to alleviate both his headache and his heartache.

"I'm sorry, Nathan; I guess I don't have any answers. I've never raised a boy before and, to be honest, the worst thing Cynthia ever did was pierce her ears twice, shave half her head and dye her hair red. She did that when she was 17, and I swear she did it all on the same day to spite me."

Nathan's groaned. "Pansy. You got off easy with a girl."

Kristin grinned. "Didn't feel like it at the time, but now, I'm beginning to think so." Kristin walked back to her chair and picked up her tea cup, taking a sip. Nathan smirked knowing it was likely cold. He watched as she rinsed the cup and set it on the counter. "My gut says you should just talk with him man to man. Tell him how disappointed you are in his decisions. Apologise for not listening to him, and help him to understand why you didn't have time right then. Then make him accountable for his choices. Lying, stealing and drinking are all serious offenses. He needs to make amends for them.

"He needs a memorable consequence, Kristin, so he's not tempted to do any of them again."

Kristin sighed. "Lucas is a bright kid. I don't think you need to come down on him like a ton of bricks. Talking firmly should suffice. Losing your trust should be consequence enough. I imagine it's going to take a long time before you trust him again. Plus, I'm sure both of us are going to be keeping a close eye on him for a long time. Trust me; he is going to hate that with a passion."

Nathan nodded. "Oh, he's going to rue the day he made these choices. He's going to be my shadow for a month after this." There was no way Nathan was going to let the boy out of his sight for a long time after this little fiasco. If the boy was seeking attention from him, he was about to get a whole boatload of it.

"Well, as much as I don't want to, I need to get back to med-bay and check on some of my patients. Do yourself a favour, Nathan, and go talk with him now. Making him wait so long isn't the best for either one of you."

Nathan shoulders drooped. "I know. I've been putting off far too long. I think I've calmed down enough, but I'm not looking forward to it. This is going to be one conversation that neither one of us is going to enjoy."

Kristin wrapped her arms around him one last time. "I don't imagine it will be pleasant at all. But I have faith in you. I'm sorry I don't have more advice. My suggestion is to ground him until he realises what a foolish thing he did, but I don't suppose you're going to listen to me." Nathan chuckled knowing she was hedging any stern punishment he might be considering. "Would you like me to come back after dinner tonight for some moral support?"

"Now that is something to look forward too." Nathan kissed her cheek lightly. "Thanks for lending me your ear, Kris."

"You're welcome. I trust your instincts, Nathan, but promise me you won't do anything hasty, ok?" She gave him a piercing look. Nathan gave her a warm smile. He got the message loud and clear.

He patted her on the back. "I promise. Besides, with our ventilation systems, everyone will think I'm killing him."

Kristin smirked slightly then sighed. "Alright then, I will bid you farewell until tonight."

Nathan gave her a warm smile as she left his quarters.


	3. Just the Facts

Nathan walked down the corridor towards Lucas' quarters. He was surprised to see Lucas' hatch door ajar. He peeked inside to see the boy sitting on his bed with his knees drawn up to his chin and his head in his lap. The room was eerily quiet with none of the usual teenage noise like blaring music and the bleeps of video games; the boy was just sitting silently still. Above him in the aqua tubes, Darwin hovered looking abandoned. The scene struck Nathan as pathetic which made him feel a little guilty for having left the boy stewing so long. He knocked on the outside of the door and saw the teenager look up at him with a sheepish look then drop his head back down again with a groan.

Nathan stepped into the doorway. "May I come in?"

"Do I have a choice?" mumbled Lucas, not lifting his head up off his knees.

"Yes, Lucas; you always have a choice. If you'd rather I come back later, I will leave."

Lucas looked up again and stretched out his legs. "No, it's okay; you can come in, but better shut the door if you're planning on yelling at me. The scuttlebutt on this boat is unbearable enough without everyone knowing I'm in trouble."

Nathan smiled sympathetically as he entered the room shutting the door quietly. "I'm not going to yell at you, Lucas." Nathan pulled up a chair and straddled it as he rested his head on his arms while looking at the teenager.

Lucas fidgeted under his scrutiny. Nathan bit his lip as he organized his thoughts.

"Go ahead; get it out of your system," said Lucas. "Tell me I'm stupid and reckless and that I had no business leaving the SeaQuest without permission and that I had no right to take your motorcycle and drive it without a license. And that I shouldn't have been drinking…did I miss anything?" Lucas' eyes looked red and blotchy, and Nathan wondered if he might have been crying.

"You forgot the Stinger." Nathan smirked at him as he raised his head up again.

"Yah, that too." Lucas pulled his legs up and hid his face in his knees again.

Nathan sighed as he glanced at the morose teenager. He certainly looked much more contrite then he had earlier. Perhaps the time to think had been good for both of them.

"C'mon, Lucas, look at me; you and I need to work this out, and hiding your head in your knees isn't going to accomplish that now, is it?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders but put his head up enough to rest his chin on his knees.

"If it means anything, I'm sorry, Captain."

Nathan smiled. "Thanks, Lucas. It means a lot. The question is are you sorry because you were caught, or do you really understand the magnitude of what you did and are truly sorry?"

Lucas looked intently at him as if mulling the question over. "Maybe a little of both."

"Thanks for being honest." Nathan appreciated the candor, and for Lucas to admit what he did showed strength of character, and Nathan couldn't help but admire that.

"How about we start from the beginning?" Nathan shifted on the chair to make himself more comfortable. "Let's go back to when you asked me if Biff could come and stay on SeaQuest. I owe you an apology."

Lucas looked up in disbelief. "Me? Why?" he asked, a baffled look on his face.

"I should've taken the time to listen to you. Instead, I brushed you off because I was busy and then forgot about the whole thing until it was too late to discuss it."

"You did get awfully mad," acknowledged Lucas.

Nathan sighed and nodded. "I know I did, and I'm truly sorry, kiddo." Nathan half smiled as he pointed a finger towards Lucas. "Although, if I remember correctly, so did you."

Lucas' face reddened and he chewed his lip guiltily. "Sorry."

Nathan waved a dismissive hand. "It's ok; I am too. We were both hot-headed. I should've taken the time to listen to you or given you another time we could talk. Instead of doing that, I brushed you off like what you had to say was unimportant. In doing so, I aggravated your anger and I'm sorry, Lucas. Please forgive me for that."

Lucas nodded and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I forgive you, Captain."

"Thanks, kiddo, I appreciate it. I promise to try and be a better listener in the future." Nathan stretched his back out a little and crossed his arms across the top of the chair. "Would you like to know why I said no about Biff?"

"I think I know why."

Nathan raised a brow. "Oh, really now? Tell me why then."

"You don't like him, and you don't want me hanging around him. And this situation just proves to you that you were right about him and he's a bad influence. Am I right?"

Nathan massaged the back of his neck. "Partly, but there's more to it than that if you want to know the whole truth." Lucas sighed with a hint of irritation. Nathan waited while the boy seemed to consider if he wanted to know or if he was going to close down and ignore him.

"Fine, why?" His voice had a flippant edge to it that Nathan ignored.

"Biff is 16 and you're 14. He's much older than you are." Nathan raised his hand to stop Lucas from interrupting as the boy's mouth popped opened to protest. "Before you interrupt me, yes, I realise you went to school together, and he was a good friend to you. I get that. However, those are bygone days. You both lead very different lives now, and Biff Pickering is leading you down paths that I'd rather you not travel just yet. There's a whole lot of difference between 14 and 16 whether you care to admit or not."

"Captain, I know that," interrupted Lucas respectfully. "That's why I asked you if he could come to SeaQuest. I knew you wouldn't ever let me go to his place. His parents are never home, and he can do whatever he wants. If he's here then we have 200 parents babysitting us. I thought it would be a good compromise."

Nathan was taken aback at the boys words. Lucas had a very good point, and his logic was sound. Nathan pinched his nose feeling very guilty. He should have listened to Lucas in the first place instead of jumping to his own conclusions. _Whew, a big part of this is my fault,_ thought Nathan.

"Oh, Lucas, I owe you a big, BIG apology," said Nathan, scrubbing a hand over his face in shame. "I should've listened to you, kiddo. I'm sorry. You really gave that a lot of thought didn't you?"

Lucas nodded but his eyes were wide in astonishment. Nathan felt sure that Lucas was realising that the two of them had had a communication breakdown. They both could have avoided where they were now had they both taken the time to listen to one another. "So, can Biff come here next time?"

"We can discuss that more later but yes, I suppose he can, Lucas, after you've finished being grounded for 10 years." Nathan looked pointedly at him but then smirked. Lucas groaned but rewarded him with a small grin.

"10 years?" Lucas' voice sounded strained, but Nathan knew that Lucas knew he was joking. Nathan was glad the boy could joke around with him a little despite the tension in the room.

"We'll discuss that in a minute. Do you forgive me?"

"Yah, sure I do, Captain." Lucas dropped his knees looking more visibly relaxed and pulled himself back more on his bunk. Darwin looked bumped his nose against the glass for attention.

"Darwin is looking pretty dejected there, Lucas. How about giving him some kind of sign that you haven't completely forgotten about him?"

Lucas' face spread into a lopsided grin as he turned onto his knees and pressed _his_ mouth to the _glass,_ _puffing_ out _his cheeks like a blowfish_. Darwin perked up and, if Nathan didn't know any better, he would have sworn the dolphin smiled. Lucas sat down again and crossed his legs.

"I'm still in big trouble, aren't I?"

"Ohhh, you better believe it, my friend," said Nathan, allowing his voice to become stern.

Lucas dropped his head once again.

Nathan stood up and walked across the room organising his thoughts carefully. He inhaled a deep breath and turned to look at the youngster sitting expectantly on his bunk. Nathan let out a puff of air as he crossed his arms. "What made you just take off like that in the first place, Lucas?"

Lucas dropped his chin and fiddled with his hands. "I was mad at you, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I just felt like you never listen when something's really important. It's been so long since I got to hang out with anyone my age, and I really wanted to spend some time with Biff." Lucas hesitated as if weighing how much more he wanted to share in that respect.

"Go on," prompted Nathan. "Tell me how you got from being mad at me to leaving the SeaQuest."

"Uh, well, I came back here to my room, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. So I called and talked to Biff, and he suggested I come to his house. I knew you'd never let me, but I just decided 'screw it', and I took the Stinger keys and the keys to your bike and left."

Nathan felt his temper burn again. He was having a hard time believing the boy's thought process.

"You knew I'd never let you go but you went anyways?" repeated Nathan in disbelief.

Lucas swallowed hard and nodded. His face had paled slightly. "Yes, sir. I wasn't thinking right because I was so mad. I guess I stopped making good decisions."

"You think?" said Nathan, trying to not be too sarcastic. Lucas flinched and Nathan could see tears shimmering in his eyes. _At least, he's starting to understand the magnitude of his misdeeds and feel some kind of remorse,_ thought Nathan. "Go on."

Lucas cracked his knuckles anxiously. "When I got to the mainland, I went where you store your bike, and I took it to get to Biff's house. We hung out for a bit and then he invited me to his beach club. We swam and hung out with some of his friends."

"Where did the alcohol come in?"

"One of Biff's friends brought it in a cooler and offered me one. At first I said no but then I didn't want to look like a total loser so I took one." Nathan raised his brow at Lucas. "Ok, I had three cans," admitted Lucas with a sigh.

Nathan groaned at the information but wanted to hear the whole story before he commented. "And what happened next?"

"We swam, played a couple rounds of golf, flirted with a bunch of girls and crashed in his cabana. It started getting late so I drank a bunch of coffee and started back to SeaQuest. I sorta got distracted by the music and was driving erratically when that cop pulled me over. And, well, you know everything else."

"The officer said you were driving carelessly, Lucas. Your sub-surface vehicle permit was afforded to you as a special favour to me by Admiral Noyce because I told him you're a responsible kid. Driving recklessly is not proving that to me."

Nathan paced back and forth a few times letting the words sink in before sitting down once again across from Lucas. The teenager blinked back tears but maintained eye contact with him this time.

"I have a feeling that you already know everything I'm going to say to you, but you're going to hear it anyways." Lucas gulped and nodded, this time a few tears escaped down his cheeks. Nathan saw him swipe them away quickly.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Lucas. I know I didn't listen to you when I should have and I'm sorry for that, but the way you handled things was completely wrong. This is real life stuff, kid. This happens to adults every day, and they don't have temper fits, stalk off and do whatever they want to spite the other person. Responsible adults suck it up in the moment and do what they can to let it go. Then later, at a more appropriate time, they approach the other person and work things out." Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose as he searched his mind for the best way to explain himself. He felt like he wasn't making himself clear.

"You didn't like my answer, so you took it into your own hands to do what you wanted knowing I wouldn't agree with your decision. That's disrespectful, Lucas, not to mention a pretty crappy thing to do." Nathan raised his voice a little for emphasis. "Then you had the audacity to steal the keys to the Stinger and to my motorcycle. That's what you did by the way, in case that part isn't perfectly clear to you, you stole from me. Anytime you take something without permission, that's call stealing. Not to mention, if you'd asked me, I would've said no and you know that. Am I right?"

Lucas nodded, more tears rolling down his cheeks. Nathan could see he looked very contrite, and Nathan was glad to see it. It would have been a lot harder of a conversation had the boy been being belligerent with him.

"Now then, let's move onto your recklessness. You're 14 years old, kiddo, and you took my bike in busy Miami traffic to go to Biff Pickering's house. And you drove without a licence which you're too young to acquire."

"You let me drive it on the island," interjected Lucas, an indignant look on his face.

"Are you telling me that you don't know the difference between riding a motorbike on a deserted Island with no traffic and riding on a busy highway?" Nathan looked at him incredulously. Lucas blinked his eyes but remained silent. "You could have been seriously injured, Lucas, or even killed. And you could've very well caused others to be injured as well. You have no idea how to handle a bike in busy traffic. I can count on one hand how many hours you've clocked on it. It was a foolish, reckless thing to do!" Nathan leaned forward and pounded his fist on the coffee table for emphasis causing Lucas to jump involuntarily. Thinking about what could have happened was making Nathan's heart race in his chest. He didn't even want to speculate how horrendous things could have turned out.

"Thank God you're safe, Lucas. It would've broken my heart if anything had happened to you." Lucas chewed on his thumb nervously, tears still falling at random.

"And then drinking while underage? We've already had this conversation before, haven't we?" Nathan saw Lucas' eyes widen in recognition of the point. "Under no circumstances are you allowed to drink alcoholic beverages. You're underage and it's illegal. For Heaven's sakes, Lucas, what were you thinking? I don't care how lame you think you look in front of your friends. You say NO! I'm disappointed and very angry with you." Nathan pointed a stern finger at Lucas who licked his lips glumly but remained quiet. "It was dangerous and reckless behaviour, and there's going to have to be some hefty consequences, don't you think?" Nathan stared at Lucas looking for some kind of response. Lucas shrugged his shoulders and slouched further down onto his bunk pitifully. "Lucas, I can't simply let this slide. It would be negligent of me to let you away with this without some kind of consequences."

"I know," Lucas mumbled, slouching even more.

"Do you have anything else you want to say to me?"

Lucas looked down at his hands and shook his head forlornly. Nathan looked to see Darwin bumping the glass again. Darwin had a way of knowing when Lucas or Nathan was upset. The dolphin couldn't hear their conversation, but he always seemed to be able to read body language. Nathan smiled at the dolphin to try and reassure him. Darwin bumped his nose against the glass again.

Lucas sat up. "I guess not. I'm sorry, Captain." Nathan smiled at the boy. He didn't want the kid to think it was the end of the world. He just needed to make sure he knew it was serious. Lucas managed his own half-hearted smile.

Nathan leaned back in the chair and heaved a sigh while looking at Lucas. They sat looking at each other for several minutes while Nathan considered his options. He'd previously made up his mind on consequences earlier in the day, but after speaking with Lucas, he'd decided he was going to give the kid a choice. He'd already said earlier that Lucas had choices, and Nathan believed strongly in that. Besides he felt like when kids had choices, they were more likely to accept the consequences with more maturity.

"Ok, so here are your choices. You can take a one month grounding punishment, shadowing me around SeaQuest everyday…"

"Shadowing?" echoed Lucas, looking perplexed.

"Yes, shadowing. You get to follow me around daily as I go about my duties. You are quite literally my shadow. All of your other duties are suspended for a month. You follow me everywhere…if I'm sitting here in my cabin doing paperwork, then you are sitting here doing work I assign you. If I'm on the bridge, you're on the bridge doing whatever task I give you. We eat together; we do our laundry together and so-on. And when you're not with me, you're in your quarters." Nathan saw Lucas' jaw drop open and his face turn crimson.

"That's crazy! What about if you're working on something classified that I'm not supposed to see?"

"Then you'll shadow Commander Ford or Dr. Westphalen."

Lucas sat forward on his bunk in full protest mode. "What about the vocoder project and all my work with the science department? I have my own duties, you know."

"I realise that, Lucas. They would all be suspended for a month as well."

"You can't do that!" insisted Lucas, his voice growing louder. "I have deadlines and people who depend on me."

"You're a 14 year old boy who is in a lot of trouble with me," said Nathan. "I can do anything I like; I'm the captain." Nathan winked at Lucas, but the teenager stood to his feet in irritation.

"This isn't funny, Captain."

"You're right, Lucas. It isn't funny. What you did was disrespectful, irresponsible and very dangerous."

Lucas crossed his arms and groaned. "But a month? Isn't that overkill? Can I swim with Darwin? Can I hang out with Ben, Tim or Miguel?"

"If I swim with Darwin, you can. If I'm hanging out with the guys, then you can. Otherwise, no, you can't."

Lucas' eyes flashed in anger. "That's not fair!" Lucas clenched his fists as he glared at Nathan.

Nathan squint an eye at him. "I have one other option for your consideration. You may choose either one."

Lucas puffed out his cheeks in frustration. "What's the other option?"

"You can take a one week grounding punishment…"

Lucas' face brightened up. "I pick that one," he stated quickly.

Nathan raised his hand to stop him. "Wait a minute, I'm not finished telling you about it. I wouldn't be so quick to pick it if I were you until I heard the whole thing. This consequence has two parts to it."

"I'm listening but one week sounds better than a month."

"Perhaps. Again, it's the same idea. One week shadowing me. All the same rules apply but the second part of it is that I give you a spanking to go along with it."

Lucas' eyes rounded in shock. "What?" He dropped his arms to his side and stared at Nathan in utter disbelief. "A spanking? Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." Nathan rose to his feet and put his hands on Lucas' shoulders. "The choice is yours to make. I'm going to head up to the bridge for a few hours, Lucas. You carefully consider your choices, and we'll meet back in my quarters at say," Nathan glanced at his watch, "16:00 hours. If you come to a decision sooner, feel free to contact me on my PAL. During this time, I will grant you a little reprieve. I want you to feel free to do what you need to do in order to make a good choice for you. Go swimming with Darwin. Work out in the gym. Talk to the guys. Whatever you feel you need to do to make a decision. Once you've made your decision, there is no changing your mind."

Lucas stood staring at him with his mouth gaping. He looked dumbfounded.

"Do you have any questions for me?" asked Nathan as he headed towards the hatch door to leave.

"Yah, are you nuts?"

Nathan had to laugh at the comment. "I meant any serious questions."

"I was being serious." Nathan frowned at him, and he dropped his gaze briefly with a sigh. "Alright then, what do you mean by that?"

"What do I mean by what?"

Lucas' face reddened. "What do you mean by a spanking?" Nathan could tell the young teen was struggling with the concept.

"Lucas, I think you know perfectly well what I mean." Nathan looked at the young teen to ascertain if it was a serious question or a snarky response. "But if you feel like you need it spelled out for you, I will do that. A spanking is when my hand does the talking on your backside. Are we on the same page now?"

Lucas grimaced. "Captain Bridger, that isn't even a choice! It's too stupid to be a reasonable choice."

Nathan spun on his heel and walked up to Lucas' face, getting right into his personal bubble, causing Lucas to flinch slightly. In that moment, Nathan knew that Lucas truly understood how big a deal the situation really was to him.

"What you did wasn't reasonable either, Lucas Wolenczak. You risked your life because you were mad at me. How ridiculous is that? You could've come to me later and confronted me but you didn't. We could've talked this out like adults, but instead you choose to take off and make one stupid choice after another. You're lucky I'm giving you any choices at all, mister."

Lucas huffed in annoyance. "Ugh." He groaned.

Nathan patted his shoulder once again. "See you at 16:00." With that, Nathan exited Lucas' quarters and headed towards the bridge.


	4. Day of Reckoning

Day of Reckoning

Nathan yawned as he came out of the restroom in his quarters. For some reason, he felt beyond worn. He'd decided to return to his quarters earlier than planned and take a shower. He was glad his headache had gone away, but he had no idea how to get rid of heartache. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it read 15:55. He expected to hear a knock on his hatch door at any moment, but he wasn't sure he was ready to hear Lucas' decision. He felt like he wouldn't be able to follow through if Lucas chose the second option. Nathan grabbed a cold juice out of his mini-fridge and sat down on the sofa. He massaged his temples and tried to focus on a few things Jonathan had mentioned on the bridge. A soft knock was soon heard at his door. He rose to his feet and went to answer it. Opening the door, he saw Lucas standing outside with his hands in the pockets of his jeans looking more than a little remorseful.

"Come inside."

"Said the spider to the fly," mumbled Lucas as he wandered inside and leaned against the wall.

Nathan smirked. "Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor." Lucas shrugged and offered a small grin. "Sit down, Lucas and we can talk some more, if you like."

Lucas slowly walked to the chair and plopped down solemnly. Nathan felt sure he hadn't seen such a downcast soul in his life, except perhaps his own son under similar circumstances. Nathan walked into the bathroom, hanging up his robe and pulling on the pants he'd left there. He towel dried his hair and poked his head out the door as he tried to comb it into submission.

"Have you made your decision?"

"Can I ask a few questions first?" asked Lucas, chewing on his finger.

"Sure, shoot." Nathan peeked at the mirror before flicking off the light and entering his living area again. He walked to his drawer and pulled out a clean shirt, pulling it over his head. "I'm listening."

"What are you going to do exactly?" Lucas' face turned pink as Nathan looked at him questioningly.

"What do you mean?"

Lucas groaned. "I mean how are you going to do it?"

Nathan tugged on his shirt as he straightened it. He knew what Lucas was asking, but he felt like it would be good at ask the kid to clarify himself.

"How am I going to do what? You're going to have to help me out here, kiddo, I'm not a mind reader."

Lucas put his head into his hands and groaned. "You know what I mean, Captain." His voice was muffled by his hands. Nathan dropped his shoulders and relented. He could tell Lucas was struggling.

"If you're asking me how I plan to spank you, it's simple. I will sit on the sofa and pull you across my knee. You will cooperate with me while I use my hand to light a fire on your backside that will last for several hours. Clear enough for you?"

Lucas shuddered as licked his lips nervously. "And if I don't agree to that, then I'm grounded for an entire month?"

Nathan walked over to his desk and sat on the corner of it. "That's correct."

Lucas raked a hand through his blond hair with a loud groan. "This sucks!"

Nathan sighed. "I agree, this does suck, but somehow we will get past this and move on, and hopefully, we'll both have learned a little along the way."

"Seems like I'm the only one learning anything," mumbled Lucas.

Nathan raised a brow. "If you think this is easy on me, Lucas, you're wrong. I keep thinking about everything and my heart aches. If something had happened to you, I would've never forgiven myself. I might not be on the receiving end of the consequence, but the whole time you're grounded, it's going to remind me what a horrible of guardian I was to you."

Lucas looked surprised. "But you're not a horrible guardian, Captain." protested Lucas.

"I didn't listen to you when you needed me, so in my books, that makes me a failure."

"No, it doesn't, sir." Lucas stood to his feet and walked towards Nathan. "You have a whole ship to command, and I get it now; sometimes you're busy. I just need to handle it better, and I promise I will next time."

Nathan smiled and patted Lucas' arm. "Thanks, kiddo. I believe you will too."

Nathan pulled the boy into a tight embrace and his heart pinched when Lucas melted into the hug, like he was starved for it. He made a mental note to hug the boy more often, even if he protested. After several minutes, Lucas' squirmed enough that Nathan reluctantly let him go.

"So what's your decision?"

Lucas fidgeted. "Option two I guess." His voice was just above a whisper. "Only because I have important stuff to do and a month is far too long to be away from it."

Nathan considered Lucas' concerns. "I understand that, but one month isn't going to change anything that drastically. Everything can wait. I chose that punishment because I feel like you learning a lesson is far more valuable than missing a few science deadlines."

"Not to me," mumbled Lucas looking sheepishly at him. "My work in the science department is really important to me. I hate letting people down who are counting on me."

"I see." Nathan had to admit he was impressed with Lucas' dedication. "Alright, if you're sure about your decision, we can proceed. I just want you to know that you can change your mind at any point up until the punishment begins. After that you have sealed your fate, understand?"

Lucas nodded.

"Ok, so from here on in, I call the shots. You can disagree all you want but what I say goes. It's not up for debate. Like I said, you're free to change your mind at any time before it starts." Nathan wanted to be sure that Lucas understood that the choice was his and that it wasn't being forced upon him against his will. Nathan never wanted to be accused of being unreasonable and abusive. Lucas needed to be the one to make the choice.

Lucas chewed his lip, looking very uncomfortable. Nathan had to admit he was feeling just as uncomfortable considering what he was about to do. He didn't like it one bit, and he hoped it wasn't going to change the dynamics of their relationship too much. He just felt like he needed to make a big impression on the kid, and he didn't know how else to do it. If Lucas was picking it as a consequence, Nathan was going to make it count for something.

Nathan stood to his feet. "Ok, I want you to go and remove your jeans in the bathroom." Lucas' eyes widened. "Before you have a heart attack," continued Nathan, "I'm not out to steal your dignity and humiliate you anymore than necessary, Lucas. I just don't think it's worth my time to apply this lesson to the seat of your jeans. I feel certain it would be a lesson in futility, and there's no point doing this if you're not going to feel the full effects from it."

Lucas' face paled as his mouth dropped open while still staring at Nathan incredulously.

"Take as much time as you need, and come out in your boxers when you're ready." Nathan had seen Lucas in his boxers countless times before. They'd shared quarters on many occasions, and both of them had been known to wander the room in their boxer shorts without concern. He knew it wasn't that that was bothering the kid. Lucas chewed his lip as he took one last look at Nathan before disappearing into the washroom and closing the door quietly.

Nathan wrung his hands as he went to sit on the sofa thinking logistically about how he was going to handle things. He closed his eyes as he leaned back reflecting on the utter absurdity of the situation. He'd never dreamed in a million years he would be crossing this bridge with Lucas. It was not something he relished or enjoyed. He'd hated it when his hand was forced to this when Robert was a boy. There was nothing enjoyable about inflicting pain on someone you loved; it was heartbreaking to everyone involved.

Nathan had made a point to contact Lucas' father earlier in the day. He'd been completely surprised to get the man in his office. Hundreds of times before, he'd called and got the man's secretary or answering service. Lawrence Wolenczak had been just as horrified about Lucas' exploits. Nathan had been granted permission to handle the situation anyway he saw fit. Nathan had guardianship of Lucas anyways, but he just felt like he needed additional approval for this kind of thing. Lawrence hadn't seemed bothered in the least at the idea and felt it was a good idea to give Lucas the choice. It was sad to say that it had been one of the better discussions the two men had had surrounding Lucas. Nathan didn't respect the man very much, but he tried to keep the communication lines open for Lucas' sake.

Time passed slowly as Nathan waited for Lucas to come back from the washroom. Nathan wasn't going to force him to hurry. The slower this experience went, the better it would imprint on the young adolescent's mind. Nathan hoped to never repeat this lesson again. After what seemed a lifetime, Lucas returned from the restroom in his boxers and took a seat across from Nathan, looking miserable. His cheeks were tear-stained and that did not help Nathan to feel any better.

"It's not too late to change your mind, Lucas."

Lucas cleared his throat. "Let's just get it over with, Captain."

Nathan nodded. "Alright, once I begin, you cannot change your mind, understand?" Lucas nodded hesitantly. "Do not put your hand back to block me, or I will have to restrain it. I'm not out to hurt you…"

Lucas snickered sarcastically. "Then what do you call it?"

Nathan looked pointedly at him. "I call it a spanking." Lucas closed his mouth and dropped his head. "You can squirm or kick your feet or whatever you need to do to withstand it, but you may not try to get away or strike out at me. If you carry on like that I will be forced to lengthen the punishment. It's okay to cry or holler, but do not curse at me or I promise you, you will regret it."

"You make it sound like I'm going to freak out," said Lucas, not being able to keep the fear from his voice.

"I have no idea how you're going to react, Lucas. But I want you to know you're safe with me. I'm not going to injure you, but you're going to feel this. There's no point in putting either one of us through this if it's not going to be memorable. I'm fairly sure that this is not going to be pleasant time for either one of us."

Lucas swallowed and took a deep breath.

"When it's over, I'll let you know when you can get up. You can stay and talk afterwards if you want to when you've collected yourself enough, or you can go to your quarters. However, I do want us to talk afterwards at some point. I need to know you're okay, and you may want to know how I am as well. Okay?"

Lucas nodded, nervously fiddling with his fingers.

"Okay, I want you to come and stand beside my right knee." Lucas stood to his feet slowly and obeyed. Nathan looked up at him, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He reached for the boy's wrist and steeled himself for what he needed to do. "It's not too late to change your mind, Lucas," he offered yet again. Lucas' eyes remained transfixed on him. Nathan looked for some kind of excuse to make everything come to a halt but Lucas remained quiet. Nathan could feel the teen's pulse racing in his wrist. "Ok, why are you in this position?" Nathan wanted to know if Lucas fully understood why he was punishing him in this way.

"I was reckless and disrespectful. I stole the stinger and your motorcycle. I left SeaQuest without permission, and I drank while underage." Lucas hesitated a moment, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Captain."

Nathan smiled at him encouragingly. "I forgive you, Lucas. This isn't about seeking revenge. It's about giving you a memorable consequence to help you think more concretely should you be tempted to repeat these same things again. Do you understand?"

"Yah, I guess so."

Nathan gave him a reassuring smile. "Ok, I'm going to pull you across my knee and position you." Nathan grasped Lucas' wrist tighter and did just that, trapping his legs under his right leg for good measure. He wrapped his hand tightly around his waist. He anticipated the kid was going to be squirming quite a bit, and he didn't want him to fall to the floor. Lucas fidgeted to get comfortable as well. Nathan rested his right hand on Lucas' lower back lightly. "The time to back out ends here, Lucas. This is your decision. I'm not forcing you to comply to this against your will. Are we still good to go?" Lucas shook his head. Nathan had to admit he was impressed. He wasn't sure that if roles were reversed, he would have gone through with it. He likely would have been changing his mind about now.

Nathan wanted to make sure Lucas wasn't uncomfortable and that he could breath. The lesson wouldn't be learned if he was focussing on not being able to breathe rather than the fire being ignited on his backside.

"Are you comfortable? I want you to be able to breathe without it hurting." Lucas nodded again but said nothing. Nathan closed his eyes for a few moments, feeling like his heart might burst in his chest. This was not something he'd ever planned on doing. Truth be known, he'd hoped Lucas would accept a month grounding. Kristin was going to freak out when he confessed this to her.

"Okay, I'm going to begin."

Lucas squirmed and moaned forlornly. "Just get it over with, I'm humiliated enough."

Nathan took a deep breath. He never intended it to be humiliating but the nature of the whole punishment was evidence of it. There was no other way to go about it without some kind of embarrassment. Nathan tightened his grip on Lucas' waist and raised his right hand, bringing it down smartly on the boxer clad behind. The impact astonished them both. Nathan knew the swat connected because his hand immediately started stinging and Lucas gasped. _Ouch! Jeepers, I forgot how much doing this hurts my hand,_ thought Nathan.

"Captain, stop! I changed my mind!" shouted Lucas.

Nathan brought his hand down again with more force. "I'm sorry, kiddo, there's no changing your mind now." Lucas hissed and squirmed. Nathan continued to steadily apply the chastisement. Lucas fidgeted and struggled, but Nathan kept a firm grasp on his thin waist. If Nathan was going to force himself to do the task, he was going to make sure it counted for something. He hoped that neither one of them would ever need to be in this position again.

Nathan kept count in his head. He planned to give ten stinging swats for each offense for a total of forty. By the time he'd made it half way through, his hand was throbbing. He wanted to stop and massage his hand, but he didn't want the message interrupted. He wanted to keep the fire ignited and burning strong, but his hand had definitely seen better days.

"Captain Bridger! S-stop! P-p-please!" cried Lucas, starting to struggle desperately. Nathan knew they had entered the incredibly painful stage. Nathan knew by the pain radiating from his own hand that Lucas was feeling the fire pretty intensely.

"Sorry, kiddo, I'm not quite finished yet. The next time you're tempted to do something reckless when you're angry, I want you to remember this. I want this to be forever burned into your memory."

Lucas screamed out a few times, and it made Nathan's heart pinch agonisingly. But he did what he could to ignore the cries and further increased the speed and intensity.

"Oh, God, S-STOP!"

Nathan could hear the pleading in Lucas' voice now as he let out some heart-wrenching sobs.

"Please, Captain Bridger! I-I'm s-sorry. I'm s-so sorry."

Lucas' whole body was tense and fighting against every smack Nathan brought down. In a moment of desperation, Lucas reached back his hand in a feeble attempt to block the swats. Nathan wasn't surprised by the action, but he stopped only long enough to trap Lucas' hand under his own and continued the spanking. Lucas stopped struggling and succumbed to his sobs. Nathan continued counting until he reached the quota in his mind and then stopped. He rested his hand on Lucas' back and rubbed it gently. Lucas didn't seem to notice that Nathan had stopped but continued sobbing mournfully.

"It's over now, Lucas. You can get up when you're ready."

Lucas struggled desperately to get up, and Nathan did what he could to help him. With Nathan's assistance, Lucas managed to steady himself on his feet, and he stood glowering at Nathan. He clenched his fists together as tears streamed down his cheeks. He was choking back heart-wrenching sobs and quivering all over, making Nathan feel horrible.

"I-I hate you!" sobbed Lucas, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"My hand isn't particularly fond of you at the moment either," said Nathan, massaging his hand. It was throbbing and reminding Nathan of every swat he'd given. "But I'm hoping once the fire dissipates a little, you'll feel a little less like cleaning my clock."

Lucas opened and closed his fists, still sobbing and trying to catch his breath. His face was wet from perspiration mixed with tears. Nathan's heart pinched as he looked at the Lucas, knowing he was the one who caused the pained reaction.

"My d-dad will h-have you court-martialled," sputtered Lucas, hysterically wiping tears off his face.

Nathan sighed. "Lucas, I spoke with your dad this morning after the police officer contacted me. I wouldn't have offered you the choice if I couldn't follow through with it."

Lucas furrowed his brows while choking back another sob. He looked torn between bewilderment, betrayal and resentment. He took a few steps away from Nathan, rocking back and forth on his feet. Nathan hand was still stinging so he could only imagine how much Lucas' backside was aching.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Nathan, standing up to walk towards his fridge. He was thinking he might like to grasp something cold to stop the burning in his hand.

"I-l told you to s-stop!" snapped Lucas, "I said I changed my mind."

Lucas wiped his face again, still breathing heavily as his sobs turned into hiccups.

"I hate you!"

Before Nathan could say anything in response, Lucas bolted to the bathroom and slammed the door hard enough to rattle the pictures on the wall. Nathan stood staring at the door, his heart aching and feeling guilt-ridden. In that moment, he felt like the most despicable person on earth. Hot tears burned his eyes as he groaned and reached for water, placing the cold bottle on the back of his neck. He could feel a tension headache starting again. Nathan groaned feeling disheartened. He hated feeling like the bad guy. As he walked over to the washroom door and leaned against the wall, he could hear Lucas sobbing behind the door, and it broke his heart. He envisioned the kid sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his legs, hiding his face in his knees and sobbing his heart out. Nathan wished he could embrace him and tell him everything was going to be all right. He was hoping the one week grounding would be a time for them to bond and spend time together. They would have to work but there would be plenty of down time where they could just hang out, chat and play with Darwin. Nathan groaned. He would've much rather have been friends with Lucas like Ben, Tim and Miguel. He would've loved to be the one to give Lucas advice and shrug it off when he did something stupid. But Nathan couldn't do that. Lucas needed an authority figure in his life, and he needed to be held accountable for his choices and decisions.

Nathan startled slightly when he heard his personal communicator buzz. He sighed as he walked to pick it up.

"Bridger."

"Captain? Is everything okay in your quarters?" Nathan recognised Jonathan Ford's voice on the line.

"Everything's fine, Commander. Why do you ask?"

"An ensign walked by your quarters earlier and heard some shouting. I just wanted to make sure you didn't need any assistance."

"Lucas and I were just having a rather loud discussion earlier."

"I see." There was a pregnant pause, but Nathan didn't offer anymore information. "Dr. Westphalen mentioned he was missing for a day. I'm sorry I didn't notice, Captain," said Jonathan.

"That makes two of us, Commander." Nathan heaved a weary sigh despite himself. At this point, he was second guessing everything he'd just done. Maybe he shouldn't have offered the choice. He felt like a tyrant.

"Are you all right, Captain? You sound discouraged."

"I guess I am, Jonathan, but I'll be fine with time. Anything else you need?"

"No, sir."

"Have a pleasant evening, Jonathan."

"Same to you, Captain." And the link ended.

Nathan set his PAL down with a groan. SeaQuest was a large vessel but, when it came to gossip, it felt like the size of a tugboat. Nathan did not want any scuttlebutt running rampant on the boat about Lucas being disciplined unless the kid mentioned it. He felt like Jonathan would have mentioned it if something other than shouting had been heard, so Nathan was hopeful the event would remain a secret between him and Lucas. Well, and Kristin because Nathan planned to confess every detail to her and accept her scrutiny and loathing. Nathan was feeling pretty low and confession was supposed to be good for the soul. Of course, at this point, Lucas might never come out of the bathroom, and Nathan would never have any privacy again, not to mention the fact that he would have to use the public restrooms for the rest of the tour.

Nathan glumly sat down on his sofa and lay back, still feeling dreadful. He strained his ears to see if he could still hear Lucas crying. He hadn't expected the kid to break down like he did, but there really wasn't a right or wrong way to react to something like that. Kids were unique, and Nathan wasn't even sure if Lucas had ever been subjected to a spanking before by either of his parents. Nathan hadn't asked Lawrence whether he'd spanked Lucas before; he'd just asked if it could be an option and Lawrence had agreed. Nathan closed his eyes and yawned, feeling like the scum of the earth. He wasn't sure how long he was lying like that before he heard the jiggle of the door handle. He opened his eyes to see Lucas walk awkwardly back into the room. He was fully clothed once again, and his face was still blotchy, but he wasn't crying anymore. Lucas sauntered over to the sofa with his hands deep in his pockets, looking at Nathan despondently.

"How're you feeling, kiddo?"

Lucas shrugged. "I've been better."

Nathan knew the feeling. "Want to talk for a bit?"

"I guess."

Nathan pointed at the chair indicating Lucas should take a seat, but the teen shook his hand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like to stand."

Nathan smiled knowingly. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd take a seat," he said firmly.

Lucas blinked back some tears that were still hovering near the surface, but he nodded and complied, gingerly settling into the chair. Nathan was glad to see he looked less distraught and seemed ready to talk now. He could have bolted from the room, and Nathan wouldn't have stopped him. He had every right to feel angry. Anger was a natural response to this kind of thing.

"Still hate me?" asked Nathan.

Lucas sucked in his bottom lip. "No, but I do hate your hand."

Nathan bit back a smirk. "Well, my hand was sufficiently punished for its part in the evening." Nathan massaged his hand for emphasis. It was still sore but not throbbing like before.

"It hurt more than I expected. If I'd known it was going to be that bad, I wouldn't have chosen that option," admitted Lucas, licking his lips. Tears were still shimmering in his eyes.

"I'm not going to apologise for doing it. It was your choice, kiddo."

Lucas nodded. "I know, but I didn't think it would be that horrible." Lucas blushed. "No one's ever done that to me before so I had no experiences with which to compare. I thought it was a childish punishment, but it hurt so much! I'm never picking it again. It was terrible." Lucas fidgeted in his chair. Nathan couldn't help but smirk at the faces Lucas was making.

"Captain, it's not funny." Lucas looked hurt that Nathan was smirking at him.

Nathan sighed. "No, you're absolutely correct. It isn't funny." Nathan patted the space beside him. "Come here, Lucas."

Lucas looked at him in confusion.

"Sit beside me for a minute."

Lucas rose his feet and gently sat down beside the captain. Nathan wrapped an arm around the boy and pulled him into a tight hug. Lucas leaned into the embrace, and they sat like that for several minutes.

"You really scared me today, kiddo. Thinking about you being injured or killed was an excruciating thought. I couldn't bear to lose you. If I have to put you across my knee every day for a week to prove how much I love you, I'll do it."

"Oh, God, please no," moaned Lucas, whose face was still buried in Nathans chest. "I'm sorry, Captain Bridger. I truly am!"

Nathan smiled as he squished Lucas tighter causing him to gasp for breath. "Don't worry, kiddo. That kind of thing will always be a choice. I would never force it on you against your will."

Lucas squirmed and pulled away. Tears had escaped down his cheeks once again. "That's a relief because I'm _never_ picking it again!"

Nathan smiled. "I figured that." His smile faded on his lips as he looked deeply into Lucas' blue eyes. "It's a relief to me as well, kiddo, because if you ever find yourself in that position again, I promise I won't be nearly as lenient." Nathan gave Lucas a stern look which made the boy fidget involuntarily.

Lucas' eyes widened at the remark. "Lenient? You call that lenient?"

Nathan chuckled deciding not to discuss it any further. He felt pretty confident that it wouldn't be a road either one of them would chose to travel again anyways. Lucas stared at him quietly as Nathan reached out and wiped a stray tear away with his thumb. "I love you, Lucas." More tears. Lucas leaned against Nathan resting his head on his shoulder.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, I dunno why."

"Adrenaline rush crash. I triggered your flight-or-fight response, and your adrenaline spiked. Now you're feeling the wash-out. You might want to take a nap before supper." Lucas slid down further into the sofa and put his head on Nathan's lap. Nathan stroked the boy's hair.

"I don't need a nap, sir," mumbled Lucas as he stifled a yawn.

Nathan smiled and continued massaging Lucas' head gently. The boy seemed to melt into him and lay quietly. The two of them sat together silently. Nathan looked at Lucas who closed his eyes. Tears still strained his cheeks, and Nathan wiped them away with his hand. Lucas didn't flinch and seemed to relax further into the sofa. Nathan leaned his head back on the sofa and heaved a weary sigh. He felt like he could sleep too. He closed his eyes and reflected on how he'd handled things. His heart still ached, but he was happy Lucas hadn't chosen to run away from him.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still disappointed in me?" Nathan heard Lucas sniffle, and he opened his eyes to see fresh tears in his eyes.

"No, kiddo. You're going to have to do some work to earn my trust again, but I have faith we'll get through this." Nathan saw Lucas swallow hard at the words. Nathan could tell Lucas didn't like to hear that he'd broken his trust. "It's all part of growing up, I suppose, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't give me an ulcer while you're going about this growing up business." Nathan patted his cheek. "Are you and I okay?"

Lucas nodded, reaching a hand up to swipe away tears again. "Yah, we're good, Captain. Shadowing you might even be kind of fun. I just hope we can swim with Darwin."

"I'll try to work that in. The grounding doesn't start until tomorrow so if you want to eat supper at the mess hall with the guys, its fine by me."

Lucas rolled onto his side more, making himself more comfortable. "I think I might grab something to go and call my dad. I need to talk to him about some stuff."

Nathan understood Lucas' desire to talk to his father. He just hoped Lawrence would make the time after everything that had happened. Lucas needed that connection with his dad now and then, but if Lawrence was going to bow out of that responsibility, Nathan was going to make sure he'd be available.

 **This story has one more chapter, but it's incomplete. I will add it when I finish it.**

 **The final chapter is called Absolution. It's been the hardest chapter to write for me. I have no absolution in my mind.**

 **Anyways, if you feel so inclined to review and berate me because this story is so horrible...I can accept it. I'm feeling so downtrodden and beaten down right now. I can only fall on my face and beg my Lord to give me the wisdom and strength to make it through this day.**

 **Absolution will come.**


	5. Absolution

Absolution

Nathan heard knocking in the distance, but he ignored it as he made himself more comfortable. But much to his chagrin, the knocking persisted. His eyes fluttered and he realised that he had fallen asleep. He opened his eyes noticing that Lucas was fast asleep with his head still in his lap. He lifted his head from the back of the sofa and heard another knock.

"Enter," he said, keeping his voice soft and hoping the person at the door would hear him. The door cracked open, and Kristin poked her head around the corner. Nathan waved her inside and put a finger to his lips. She glanced at him with a confused look on her face, but she closed the door quietly and made her way over to the sofa.

"Hi," whispered Kristin, noticing the sleeping teen beside him. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, but sat down quietly. "How did things go?"

Nathan grabbed a sofa pillow and carefully placed it under Lucas' head as he rose to his feet, ushering Kristin towards his desk on the other side of the room. He stretched out the kinks in his back and glanced at his watch. He blinked in bewilderment when he realised that it was past 19:00 hours.

"Goodness, I hadn't expected to fall asleep. I guess I was more drained that I thought." Nathan kept his voice low as he glanced at Lucas but the boy didn't stir.

"I take it things went okay?" Kristin glanced at Lucas and smiled in relief.

"Well, things were tense for an hour or so, but we worked them out."

Nathan pulled out a chair for Kristin, and she took a seat. Nathan pulled up another chair and sat down. His head still felt cloudy.

"Why is it that children look so much younger and more vulnerable when they're asleep?" murmured Kristin softly.

"I guess because they let down their inhibitions." Nathan leaned his head on his hand while staring at Lucas as well. He was starting to feel a little less guilt-ridden now than everything was said and done. It warmed his heart to see Lucas curled up on his sofa looking so peaceful.

"I'm glad you worked things out and you're not angry with him anymore."

Nathan rubbed his face. "I wasn't so much angry with him as I was exasperated with his stupidity. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to him." Nathan felt tears sting his eyes again when he allowed himself to reflect on the events.

"Don't torture yourself thinking like that, Nathan. He's safe and fast asleep on your sofa, looking very peaceful I might add." Kristin rose to her feet and walked across the room to stare more closely at him. Nathan knew the remnants of tears were still on his cheeks. Kristin brushed a gentle hand across Lucas' cheek. Nathan could see the love in her eyes. There was just something about Lucas' vulnerability that drew people to him. Kristin placed a blanket over the slumbering boy and came back to joined him at his desk.

"Must have been some conversation, he still has tears on his cheeks," commented Kristin, looking at Nathan in concern. "Did the two of you argue again?"

"Not exactly," Nathan hesitated for a moment. "Well, kind of but, in the end, we worked things out. Beginning tomorrow he's going to be my personal side kick for a week. Truth be known, I'm looking forward to spending the week with him. I told him all his other responsibilities are suspended."

Kristin furrowed his brow. "I'll bet that didn't go over well."

"No, it certainly didn't." Nathan frowned at the memory. "He's a pretty dedicated kid when it comes to his responsibilities on the seaQuest. He was quite indignant that I threatened to make it a month. In fact, he chose a harsher punishment in order to avoid getting the one month grounding penalty." Nathan saw Kristin's face grow pale. He raised his hand to assure her. "Don't get all up in arms, Kristin, until I explain myself."

"I'm not sure I want to hear it."

Nathan sighed. "Please, Kristin, just hear me out. I need to get this off my chest." Nathan could feel his guilt stirring up again. He needed to confess how things went down and be held accountable for it. He never wanted to be accused of being abusive. If he was too harsh, he needed to be told so and make amends for it. Nathan's voice came out louder than he intended, and he glanced over to see Lucas stir in his sleep. Kristin put a gentle hand on his arm, smiling at him kindly.

"Let's go for a walk, Nathan. That way we don't disturb Lucas. Those dark circles under his eyes tell me that he's going to sleep for a long time, possibly the whole night through."

Nathan looked into Kristin's green eyes affectionately. She was a smart woman, and it was no secret that Nathan appreciated her input on just about everything onboard the vessel. He rubbed his hands on his pants and nodded his agreement. It would be better to have this discussion somewhere more private.

"That's a great idea. How about Seadeck?"

Kristin nodded as she rose to her feet casting another glance at Lucas. Nathan felt his heart drop just a little as he witnessed the sweet moment. There was no doubt in his mind how much Kristin adored Lucas. He might not have been her son, but he was as close as it could be without having given birth to the boy. Nathan walked to his hatch door opening it for Kristin, regretting his decisions and hoping that she wouldn't be too angry with him.

The two of them walked silently down the corridors until they reached the Mag-lev. Nathan stepped aside and allowed Kristin to enter the lift first and then took a seat beside her. She looked at him with a concerned expression on her face. The lift was vacant of any other passengers which struck Nathan as odd. Kristin seemed to understand his odd look, and she smirked at him.

"There are some poker competitions in the works tonight or so I've heard."

"I see," commented Nathan quietly, "I wondered why it was so quiet tonight."

The two of them sat quietly once more, and Nathan felt slightly uncomfortable anticipating confessing to her what he'd done earlier to Lucas. In his own mind, he was becoming more settled in his decision, feeling like he had gotten his message across and not completely regretting it. Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wondering why the lift seemed to taking so long to get to its destination.

"Nathan, you're really making me nervous," said Kristin, placing a warm hand on his arm. "Please tell me what we're going to discuss isn't as bad as your projecting."

Nathan grimaced. "I'm sorry, Kris. I don't mean to project my emotions on you. I'm just feeling a little unsettled in my own skin tonight."

Kristin squint a curious eye at him but remained quiet. Soon the lift came to a complete stop and announced its destination. The doors flew open and the Mag-Lev announced its normal greeting to thank them for riding it. The politeness of the lift always struck Nathan as humorous. Sometimes he would answer it by saying you're welcome, and people on the lift would eye him strangely. Nathan had designed the boat from the hull up, and he knew all of its quirks. He was the first to admit when they were comical. Nathan allowed Kristin to leave the lift first, and he followed her to Seadeck. The two of them entered the second set of doors, and Nathan shut and locked them. He wandered towards the water's edge and sat down, pulling his socks and shoes off to soak his feet in the pool. The coolness of the water felt refreshing and worked to relax him a little. Kristin sat down as well, following his lead.

"Now then, Nathan Bridger, how about you telling me what's weighing on you so much. It's not very characteristic of you to be so distant."

Nathan brushed a hand across his face as he stared at the water nestling his feet. "Lucas and I had a long chat earlier like you suggested."

"And?" prompted Kristin.

"He was really apologetic, admitting what he did was inappropriate. He didn't give me a hard time which I'm grateful for. I wasn't sure if he was going to be defensive or not."

"I knew he would own up to what he did, Nathan. Lucas isn't a bad kid. Did he say why he did it?

"Oh, it was as I suspected; he was ticked off at me."

Kristin frowned. "At you? Why?"

"I didn't listen to him and I brushed him off. I felt horrible when he told me that he understood that I didn't want him hanging out with Biff off the vessel and that was why he'd invited the kid here."

"Sounds like a mutual communication breakdown to me."

"Exactly. Made me feel pretty damned crappy, to be honest."

Kristin rested her hand on his arm compassionately. "Everyone makes mistakes, Nathan. Don't beat yourself up over it. Besides, Lucas still shouldn't have done what he did even if it was partly your fault."

"That's what I explained to him."

"Did he understand?"

"I think so. I'm going to spend some more time talking with him this week when we're alone together. I just want to make sure there are no hard feelings between us."

"Oh, Nathan, have you ever stopped to see how that child looks at you?"

Nathan's mouth opened to say something but then he closed it again. He slid himself more to the left so he was facing Kristin. He licked his lips and furrowed his brow. He felt at a loss for words.

Kristin wiggled her toes in the water. "You really don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"Nathan, do remember the first time you came aboard SeaQuest?"

"Sure, I won't ever forget that. Bill was such a meddlesome ass."

Kristin smirked. "Do you really see it that way, Nathan?"

Nathan leaned back against the glass door. "I never said his assertions were incorrect." Nathan's eyes twinkled as he winked at her.

"Some days, I want to shake you, Captain." Kristin looked a little annoyed with him so Nathan attempted to be more serious. He really did need the levity, but he recognised that Kristin was trying to make a point.

"I'm sorry, continue."

"Do you remember when you asked him to help find out where the virus was on the ship? The time he found the watch dogs connected to the virus planted by Stark?"

Nathan nodded recalling the memory. "Sure, I remember."

"When you left you complimented him on doing a good job. His face lit up like a Christmas tree. I'd never seen him smile like that before, and I'd known him for six months at that point." Kristin shifted a little as her feet dangled in the tepid water. "That was the day you stole his heart. He's loved you ever since."

Nathan felt a catch in his throat, remembering another conversation around the same time. The day Lucas had shared some words of wisdom about how people don't count on things changing. Lucas had been the one to convince him that he wasn't betraying his son and wife's memory by staying on SeaQuest. A tear escaped down Nathan's cheek and he reached up absentmindedly to swipe it away.

"He adores you, Nathan." Kristin smiled at him warmly as she leaned back against the glass wall behind them as well.

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual which is why these types of circumstances are so difficult for me. I'm being placed in the position of his parent, rather than his friend."

"He needs a father, Nathan. You know as well as I do that having a loving, supportive father during these impressionable years is far more important than friendship."

Nathan looked down at his feet as he wiggled his toes thoughtfully. "I know. I think today I've discovered just how much I realise that's true. I forgot how hard it is to be the bad guy when it comes to discipline. I can say this much though, I hate it. As much as I love Lucas, I don't like being put in a position of disciplinarian."

Kristin raised a brow. "Nathan, being captain of SeaQuest puts you in that position every day."

Nathan sighed. He knew he just needed to come out with his confession. He needed some absolution. He wasn't sure if he was going to get it from Kristin, but he had always depended on his late wife, Carol, for it and deep down he hoped Kristin might be able to help him this time around as well.

"I know, but this is different." Nathan scratched his head. "I gave him a choice between two punishments," began Nathan, pulling his legs from the water and rising to his feet. He felt like he needed to stand up to discuss this. He didn't feel like he deserved to be in a relaxed position. Kristin looked up at him with a concerned expression but she didn't stand up.

"Go on," she encouraged.

"The first choice was one month shadowing me."

"Shadowing?"

Nathan chuckled because her face looked as perplexed as Lucas' had when he first mentioned it to him.

"It just means that he follows me everywhere and does what I do. My dad used to do it with me when I got out of line. It helped to keep an eye on me, as well as bridge the divide between us as well as build a closer relationship. I hated it but, now, as an adult, I can see the wisdom in it. I did it with Robert several times, and it was a very successful consequence. It helped me deal with some heart issues as well. Probably the only downfall was I was forced to deal with other behaviours that I hadn't realised Robert had. I anticipate I may discover a few with Lucas as well."

Kristin looked impressed. "That's a creative consequence, although I'm sure Lucas isn't going to appreciate it."

"He probably won't. It doesn't take long to get on one another's nerves either."

"What was the second choice?"

"Well, I offered the same thing, shadowing me, but only for one week. However, I added a little extra to cinch the deal. I wanted him to feel the pain I feel each time I think of nearly losing him."

Kristin chewed her lip pensively. "Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like what I'm going to hear next?"

Nathan began to pace the room as he plunged his hands into his pockets as he thought about how he was going to confess the rest of what occurred.

"I've known Lucas long enough to know that one month away from the science department would drive him mad, so I can pretty much guess he picked your second choice."

Nathan nodded. "You're right, he did. Only now, I wish I'd known how serious he was about such things. I might not have been so quick to offer him a choice."

Kristin rose to her feet and grabbed him by the arm gently. "Nathan, enough stalling; please just tell me."

Nathan sighed. "I spanked him, Kris." He felt his heart sink when he heard Kristin gasp. He couldn't bear to look her in the eye so he pulled his arm away and walked to the furthest section of the room, crossing his arms across his chest. "I don't think I've ever felt as frightened as when I heard he took my motorcycle through downtown Miami traffic. I wasn't just angry with him for his stupid decisions, I was terrified. He could've been killed. I wouldn't have ever forgiven myself if something would've happened to him." Nathan felt himself rushing through his explanation, trying to justify his actions. "So I gave him a choice and he picked the spanking."

Nathan could hear Kristin breathing behind him but she was quiet. She was so quiet that he felt disconcerted by her presence. He didn't know what else to do but to keep explaining what happened, so he did.

"I pulled him across my knee and gave his backside 40 stinging swats. I know they connected because my hand throbbed for a good time afterwards. When I let him up, he was furious with me, and we shared a few harsh words. Well, mostly he shared a few because he didn't allow me a word edgewise." Nathan still couldn't hear anything but Kristin breathing. He was becoming more and more uncomfortable standing with his back to her so he turned to face her. As soon as she saw his pained expression, her own softened.

Nathan grimaced. "Please say something, Kris; I feel bad enough without worrying about what you're thinking."

Kristin dropped her gaze for a few moments and then looked up with a hand over her mouth. Nathan tried to read her expression but came up empty.

"I told you how I felt before you spoke with him, Nathan. I'm not comfortable with that type of parenting. I've seen too many children abused in my line of work." Kristin hesitated and chewed on the inside of her lip. "I've never allowed myself permission to do it. I can't imagine how you feel."

Nathan was relieved to see sympathy flood her face instead of repulsion. "It's not an easy thing to do, and I can honestly say I never thought he'd choose it as an option."

"Why do you suppose he did?"

"I think for all the reasons you stated. And he told me he didn't want to let anyone down by missing his deadlines. I have to admit I was pretty impressed with his maturity." Nathan shifted his position a little and decided to sit down again, this time on the deck. Kristin sat as well, crossing her legs facing him. "And no one has ever spanked him before so he thought it would be an easy out."

Kristin smirked. "Somehow I think he learned a different lesson on that one."

"Oh, I highly doubt he'll ever pick it again. But if I'm going to allow him to pick that as an option, it needs to be a memorable event, and not just child's play."

Kristin pulled her knees up and rested her head on them thoughtfully. "So, now what?"

Nathan shrugged. "I guess I just needed to hear that you weren't angry with me for doing it and ask you if you had any concerns about it."

"I'm not angry, Nathan. You're Lucas' guardian and how you discipline him is really none of my business."

"Wait," interrupted Nathan, "I want it to be your business. I need to be held accountable to someone in this. If I was out of line then you need to tell me. Please, Kris, I need accountability."

Kristin shifted her head to the side, looking out at the water shimmering in the light of the dimmed evening.

"Are you going to do it again?"

Nathan shrugged. He didn't have an answer to that. He didn't expect to discipline Lucas that way to begin with. It had just popped into his head, and he'd been so upset and concerned that he'd wanted to make a huge impression on Lucas.

"I can't answer that because I don't know."

"Fair enough." Kristin lifted her head as she pulled her legs closer to her midsection. "From what I saw of Lucas, he seemed content and at peace. I don't know how things went down earlier but you seemed to have resolved things well. I can't be angry with you, Nathan."

Nathan felt tears of relief burn in his eyes. "Thank you, Kristin." He reached out and grasped her hand. "I don't want to screw things up."

The double meaning lingered in the air, interrupted by a sudden splash of water. Movement in the water caught Nathan's eye as he saw a figure in the pool. A blonde-haired head popped up out of the water followed by a sleek dolphin. Nathan bit back a smile when he saw Lucas grinning at him. Darwin blew water out his blowhole misting Nathan and Kristin. Both of them laughed despite their shock. Lucas looked a bit unsure and sheepish as he swam up to the edge of the deck.

"I thought you were taking a nap," said Nathan reaching out to stroke Darwin, whose muzzle bopped up out of the water.

Lucas shrugged. "I woke up and you were gone." Lucas held onto the edge of the deck and glanced at Kristin in uncertainty. "Hi, Doc."

"Hi Sweetie," replied Kristin, offering him a warm smile.

Lucas attempted to pull himself out of the water but failed, slipping back in with a splash. Nathan chuckled as he reached out his hand to help and Lucas accepted. Sitting on the edge of deck, Lucas looked at both of them. He was wearing a pair of swim trunks and an old baseball tee. He shifted a few times, looking a little uncomfortable.

"I know you're talking about me," he mumbled, his tone almost whiny.

Kristin smiled reassuringly. "I guess you caught us red-handed. How are you feeling, Lucas?"

He shrugged slightly and a red colour dusted his cheeks as he glanced at Nathan. "You told her didn't you?" There was no accusation in his voice. Nathan nodded only to see more colour grace the boy's face.

"Are you angry with me too?" asked Lucas.

Kristin shook her head. "No, I'm not angry. I'm just concerned."

Lucas shifted again. "Sitting is a little painful, but I'll live."

This time Kristin blushed. Nathan scratched his chin, feeling equally uncomfortable and still somewhat guilty but he didn't allow his face to show it. It had been a choice for Lucas, one he didn't have to pick so Nathan wasn't going to allow himself to appear guilty in front of the boy.

"I don't know what to say to that, Lucas. I just want to know if you're okay." Kristin leaned in closer to Lucas and almost whispered. "I feel like this is a conversation we should be having privately, but do you feel like the captain was out of line disciplining you like he did?"

Lucas stroked Darwin's side with his foot as he shrugged. "I guess not. I mean it hurt a lot and to be honest, it still hurts." Lucas squirmed again as he looked up at Nathan. "You pack a pretty mean wallop, sir."

Nathan grimaced. He didn't exactly like to hear it stated so plainly, but another part of him didn't feel badly about making the consequence count for something. He was still feeling a little shaky himself over the whole motorcycle episode. It would have been a wasted effort if the kid didn't have something to think about for several hours.

"You don't have to answer this if you feel uncomfortable but did it leave any marks?"

Lucas groaned and threw Nathan a pleading look causing Nathan to shrug.

"She's a doctor, kiddo; she has to ask awkward questions," said Nathan, feeling equally unsettled. He had to admit that was something his wife never asked before.

"I'm not answering that."

"Lucas." Nathan's voice held a warning in it. He could hear the belligerence in Lucas' tone, and he didn't like it. He didn't much care if Lucas answered the question or not, but he did care if he was polite about it.

Lucas bit his lip. "She said I didn't have to answer it." His voice held some pleading to it.

"Answer it anyway; I'd like to know as well."

"Fine," Lucas groaned squirming again, obviously uncomfortable with the question. "It's just red." Lucas' face turned a shade of crimson. With those words, he slipped back into the water and grabbed Darwin's dorsal fin. He stared at Nathan. "Captain?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I'm sorry about everything. I really mean it." He hesitated and looked at Kristin. "Can you plug your ears a minute?" Kristin lifted a brow and nodded, placing her fingers in her ears and courteously looking away from them. Lucas swam closer to Nathan, his voice almost a whisper. "Can I crash in your room tonight?"

Nathan smiled. "Of course you can." Nathan glanced at his watch, noting the time. "Did you eat anything yet?"

Lucas nodded. "Ben saved me some pizza. You?"

"Not yet but I'll grab something on my way to my quarters."

"Can we play a board game or something?"

"We'll see. I don't think Kristin is done with me yet." Nathan winked at Lucas who rewarded him with a smirk. "But we can definitely do something together if you like."

Lucas grinned. "Better be careful, Captain; she might decide to wallop you." With those final words and a mischievous chuckle, Lucas disappeared under the water and under the sea door into the distance.

Nathan poked Kristin in the side and she removed her fingers.

"He's gone."

"I noticed. He forgets I can read lips." Kristin stifled a giggle.

Nathan snickered as well. "Give the kid his dignity."

Nathan stood to his feet, pulling Kristin to her feet as well.

"So, Doctor? How much trouble am I in?"

Kristin's face became more somber. Nathan took a few steps backwards until he was leaning against the wall once again. She stepped closer to him, leaning into his chest and he pulled her in close. He inhaled her scent and closed his eyes. She felt so good in his arms. Every time he held her, he missed Carol just a little less. He used to feel intense guilt about it, but now he relished the time they had together.

"He loves you so much, Nathan. It just radiates from his smile. He wants so much to please you and make you proud. The trust I see in his eyes when he looks at you is remarkable."

Nathan smiled at her words as he rested his chin on the top of her head. He had no words in response. He just knew he was thankful for a second chance at being a dad. Not just a father but a dad and, in his mind, there was a big difference. Lucas gave him that and it just seemed to heal his heart a little more each day. He never quite stopped missing Robert, but at least he could talk about him without the wind being sucked out of his sails.

"I expected Lucas to avoid being near you after you…" Kristin paused, fiddling with her hands.

"You really have a hard time with corporal punishment, don't you? You can't even seem to say the word without squirming. Someday you'll have to tell me the story behind your discomfort, Kris."

Kristin sucked in a breath. "Maybe someday, perhaps." She left her words hanging in the air.

"I'm not surprised that he wants to be with me. Robert was the same way. He was angry, then remorseful and then suddenly, he was like a cling on. He would seek me out and want to spend time with me. It was one of the best parts of the whole process. Truth be known, it takes a lot out of me and, I dunno, I think the desire for a kid to want to be with their parent after being disciplined is just God's way of healing _our_ hearts a little. Deep down they want to please us and having a rift between a parent and a child just begs for a bridge to be built."

Kristin was quiet for a moment as if pondering his words. "I love you, Nathan."

Nathan's eyes widened. He hadn't expected those words to come under these circumstances. He fully expected her to be angry with him.

"You're not angry with me?"

She shook her head and leaned in closer to him. "You've shown me that I underestimate you in this whole parenting thing. I have faith you know what you're doing. You're a good man, Nathan Bridger. I think I need to stop questioning and just accept you know what you're doing."

Nathan groaned. "Kris, I have no idea what I'm doing. Most of the time I'm just flying by the seat of my pants."

Kristin giggled. "Well, you're doing something right because Lucas loves you and so do I."

A huge grin spread across his face as he kissed the top of her head. "So does this mean I'm forgiven?"

Kristin turned slightly to look at his eyes. Her face was chocked full of concern. "Nathan, you don't need my forgiveness. You need to forgive yourself."

Nathan nodded solemnly. He knew she was right and with time, he knew absolution would come.

 **Note from Sawyer: I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the kind words and messages I received. I had no idea how many people would read and take time to drop me a note of encouragement. I felt about as low as dirt when I wrote the first part of this little story. I was expecting people to react negatively and lambaste me with negative reviews. Thanks for the kindnesses you have shown towards me.**

 **A few of you asked me to give you an update on how things went with my son. So as a brief update I will say this: he got off much easier than Lucas did. I think my son owes Lucas a huge thank-you for saving his skin. I didn't use corporal punishment on my son, not that the thought didn't cross my mind, hence this story. However, my son is my shadow for several weeks which will give me some time to do some heart work with him. I think being so busy at work and balancing life with a newborn has pulled us apart somewhat, so the next few weeks, my son and I will work on bridging our relationship.**

 **I feel like this story is incomplete, so I will leave it marked as such. I may add an epilogue in the future.**

 **Peace out,**

 **Sawyer.**


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